Some days are better, some are worse. Today is a bad one. There is a lot of anxiety, and stress, and sadness. This is one of those days when I feel Her absence stronger than most days. If only I could hear Her voice reassuring me that everything is going to be OK… Alas, as I am freaking out in my room, all there is is a ringing silence.
I also feel that I desperately need a drink. I’m hoping to be able to resist. Trying to kill this pain with booze is a road that leads to way worse shit than I already am in up to my neck.

As stupid and unhealthy as it is, I can not not think about Her and tell myself that She won’t be there when I come through. I need Her!

Fuck this shit!!!