Day 47. Another Day, Another Torture.

This morning my mind treated me to another panic attack. Like a broken record my mind goes back to my emotional wound and starts picking on it. I had to run to the bathroom out of sight of my colleagues. Why did I have to fall in love?

Fortunately or unfortunately, I am not confused in my feelings that preoccupy me the most. I am in love. I am in love with someone who does not want me. Someone who asked me not to contact her ever again. I know what I want the most. And that is something I can never have.

What I am not so clear about is where to go from here. How am I supposed to live if the one person I want to live for does not care if I live or die?

I miss her but I know I will never hold her in my arms again.

Why did I have to fall in love?

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