As members of the human species we seem to be running around trying to achieve an illusion of control over our own lives, the control that is rather illusory. We do not have control over life’s circumstances. Regardless of the newly re-found notions of visualisation and “law of attraction” (which has as much to do with any law as noble gases with nobility), any semblance of control over our lives is a delusion.
That said, we do tend to exercise a lot of control over our feelings and emotions. It is just easier to wall off against potential threats than live openly and with our emotions our in the open and not hidden. It would certainly be a healthier attitude but in the Western civilisation it is not favoured by the establishment. Rather we remain closed off to others and spend a lot of effort on trying to insulate and protect ourselves from emotional damage.
When we do fall in love, it just seems so magical because we can relax and not put up the walls in out mind. When we do give of our love, we give with a measure of relief at being able to be natural. That is why when the relationship falls apart we are so heart-broken. There is a feeling of betrayed trust. But more importantly, there’s a feeling of betrayal. Even though there might not have been one, we still tend to feel that our unspoken openness was used up by the partner and discarded like a piece of garbage…
That’s all I can write at the moment.
And I still love Her.
I’m having trouble today coming up with things to say. However, keeping with the “one post per day” challenge I shall say this. Trust is important in any relationship. Even enemies trust each other to behave in a foe-like manner. But I digress. In climbing, trust is paramount. We trust each other with our lives and continued well-being so that we can feel the freedom to explore. If that trust is shaken, it is hard to get things back to the way they were. There cannot be any hidden agendas and all things must be clear and transparent, which in its turn creates an implicit feeling of a close bond. Those feelings of bonding are multiplied exponentially when the climbing relationship goes beyond catching and belaying.
One day, I will find a way to finish this post. And I still love her.