It has been so long since You have left me… In the strife to keep busy and getting my mind occupied so as to not think of you, I am loosing track of days. Yet the memories of You still burn ever so brightly. Not a day goes by that my heart does not get crunched by the wistful vise of despair and loneliness. Even on a day like yesterday, when I should feel happy and proud for having achieved an important milestone, what I am confronted with is the realisation that the success means nothing without being able to share it with You. I miss our closeness, the comfort and peace I felt when I was with you. I miss being able to talk to you about anything.
You are certainly forgetting me more and more every day or, perhaps, you have completely shrugged off all memories of our time together, of me. You are leaving our time behind further with every second that passes yet those same seconds are excruciating to me because I still live in those memories, I have not moved on nor do I see a way to do it. And every day the realisation that on this day you are slipping away just a little bit further feels like a ice cold thrust of pain through my heart.
I need You in my life, my dearest girl! My therapist insists that it is not You I miss but rather the emotional intimacy that I thought we shared. He is wrong. I do miss that feeling of oneness I felt with You but I do miss You.
I miss you so, so much and I love you still.